About "Strongest"

Released May 9, 2021

strongest - album cover - photo by Stephanie Teng - Jodie Chan (JOYA)

I wrote 
"Strongest" soon after hanging out with a couple of close friends of mine in their living room. For whatever reason, that night we came to talk about some of the more shaping adversities we had faced and were still facing.

One of my friends started talking about how her whole world turned upside down when in her late 20s, she found the person she wanted to spend her life with. Taking this path came at the cost of the relationship with one of her parents, reshape the relationship of the second, create a wealth of nuanced challenges when it came to work and conservative family friends, but more importantly, come to shape her relationship with herself. This was just one of the many stories.


"Now, there's nothing left to do, than grow old together", she said.

The collectiveness of these shared experiences stuck with me.

Talking with them took me back to what I would consider the lowest point in my life just a couple of years ago.

Thinking back, it was both a long and not so long ago that I felt that more hopelessness and confusion than I could've imagined, coming from a place of feeling split and broken as a person.

I can barely recognise that past period of my life because in my head, it couldn't stand in greater contrast than who I am today.

While remnants of the painful experiences that I can recall have not entirely left and new challenges continue to shape me - I feel lighter than I ever have before. Still learning but more self-aware. Just as vulnerable if not more, but stronger as well.

I feel as though I'm on the other side.

I now see myself as many things. I'm a daughter, sister, partner, friend. I'd call myself a Christian, queer, musician, artist, and many other attributes. I've learned that my many identities can co-exist and that I'm stronger for it. We are evolving beings, and it's important that we give ourselves room to be.

"Strongest" is a song about the strength that comes from adversity.

"Strongest" is about self-acceptance and the power it gives oneself to love and be loved, and to me it's about how perspective can mean absoutely everything.

If I could go back in time, I'd sing this song to my 20 year old self. "Jodie, I can't wait to see you on the other side"

 

LYRICS

 

You know I used to look at the mirror and see my mom, 

But I’d stare ‘cause I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was, playing a part

 

I’d lay in bed, hear their voices, 

say my name with pride 

If only they knew, the troubled waters 

I hid, inside 

 

Chorus:

Am I strongest when I can be, True to myself, 

These steps all have ledges 

That even if I fall, all the same, 

you’d still be there

 

Is there not so much left to be

And there not so much left to do 

than grow old together?

 

You know I, used to bike by this coastline 

Of pine and the sea 

Now I’m back, and flutters they flood in 

But they’re welcome, you see 

 

I thought I was weak

shrug it off, Who wouldn’t want to be me 

But you saw through the cracks

wanted me whole,  taught me to see

 

That I am strongest, when i can be, true to myself , 

These steps don’t need ledges

That even if I fall, all the same 

You’ll still be there

 

And there is nothing left to be 

And there is nothing left to do 

But grow old together 

 

You know I used to look at the mirror and see my mom

 

But now I’m strongest when I can be

True to myself, these steps don’t need ledges 

That even if I fall, all the same 

You’ll still be there

 

And there is nothing left to be 

And there is nothing left to do 

But grow old together 

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